Blog: Max Dawson
February 9, 2017
I am basing my thoughts this morning on .
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
I am applying this verse to our marriage relationships. Your marriage. My marriage. We have the ability to speak things that will produce death in our marriages. We can speak things that will produce life in our marriages. That’s how powerful words can be–and are! Don’t fool yourself into believing that words have no power.
With that understood, here are five things that you need to avoid. Control your tongue. Learn not to say these things because they are destroyers.
1. “You always…” Follow that with any fault of your mate. It will put him/her on the defensive. It is a good way to (a) start a fight; (b) cause them to flee; (c) freeze up and refuse to speak. Which of those three is good for your marriage? The fight, flight, or freeze situations only tear down, not build up.
2. “You never…” Same as above. It is an exaggeration and unlikely to be true. It is a needless accusation and has never helped any marriage grow stronger. A wife says, “You never pick up your socks off the floor.” He says, “Don’t say never. I did once back in 2003.” Really dumb things to say!
3. “We should never have married.” Lots of folks may wonder if they married the wrong person. Easy to do during rough patches. Maybe you think there is only one person in the whole wide world that would be right for you–and now you realize you picked the wrong one. That is a false premise. What you fail to realize is that any marriage–every marriage–requires real work to make it work.
4. “If you…, I will divorce you.” Choose a “do” or “don’t” to complete the sentence. “If you don’t be more careful…” or “If you do that one more time…” That says my commitment to marriage is conditional, based on your performance. It also introduces the “D” word into the discussion. Bad idea. Powerful downer!
5. “My mother told me I shouldn’t marry you.” You can put “father” in there if you want. One more bad idea. Even if you solve your current crisis, it puts a wedge between your spouse and your parents.
Don’t say these things! It is not smart! They might be smart-alecky, but not smart! A smart-aleck is someone who is obnoxiously conceited in his clever words.


OK, so in the block above I have listed five things you should not say in your marriage. Powerful things. Harmful things. Do you get it? Are you with me?
I am sure you can think of more things to avoid. But I just want you to see that is giving us some solid words of wisdom. You have the power of death (to harm, hurt and destroy) in your tongue.
You also have the power of life (to revive, make healthy and whole) in your tongue. So, next time (come Monday), I will give you five things that will produce life in your marriage.
Until then, my wise friends,

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